Dad Gone Mad Latest Blog Posts

(I wrote this today for a project I'm working on and, upon reading it back just once, I have declared it to be the worst analogy every written. Rest assured, this is not self-deprecation; its a simple statement of fact.) I have changed my own definition of popularity.   In my ...

We walk into the raddest house in Newport Beach and see Jen, Hot Wife’s BFF since infancy, dressed like a skanky-ass pirate, complete with knee-high black leather boots, a bare midriff, and a black and red striped bikini top (the latter of which I try strenuously not to notice but later realize ...

1) Stop talking like a baby.   2) Stop playing with your burrito. 3) Your vagina is your business. 4) Dessert?! You barely touched your dinner. 5) Take your finger out of your nose. 6) Why do you always have to go right when the waiter brings our dinner? 7) ...

My son and I were lying on the couch last night, watching hockey and relaxing at the end of a long Monday. “Hey,” I said, “do you want to know what Mrs. Robinson said about you at our parent-teacher conference today?” “Did she say I’m awesome?” “Basically, yeah. She said you’re a ...

I got so good at whoring my own book that I figured I'd try it for someone else's .   I hope you appreciate this, Kristen . Other book news: 1) I received my advanced copy of RULES FOR MY UNBORN SON by Walker Lamond and have thoroughly enjoyed it. 2) Jen Lancaster recommended I check ...

One of the things I love most about writing for a living is the way it strong-arms me into a constant state of self-discovery. But sometimes that relentless drive for emotional authenticity works against me. Getting in touch with what’s really going on in my heart and head requires that I ...

When I tell people I was a big nerd in high school, I always feel compelled to articulate just how big a nerd I was. Usually I can convey that message with one sentence: “I was on the speech and debate team.” On the popularity hierarchy, identifying oneself as a member of the speech and ...

This is what I looked like in high school, circa 1988. It should be noted that Paul Dinius, he of the angry scowl, is now the commander of a nuclear submarine and Josh Rubin was the drummer in an awesome punk band called Sicko.