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The Homefront
Marlboro Man, Charlie, and the kids have been living without me since last Sunday morning. We knew this first leg of the Griswold Book Trip would be a little tough, not just because I was going to be away from the four punks for six whole days, but also because I brought my sister-in-law ...
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Oh No I Di-in’t
thepioneerwoman.com — Oh yes…     I did. And I might have completely blocked it from my memory had my sister-in-law Missy not snapped these photos. So thank you, Missy. No, really. Thank you. It’s best that I see the truth. I ... (more) Oh No I Di-in’t
Thelma, Louise, and Their Mother-in-Law
I’m on my Griswold-Style Book Trip right now, and because Marlboro Man and the kids had cow, soccer, calf, and manure obligations this week, I dragged along both his mom and Missy, Pesky Tim’s wife. We blazed first to Denver so I could sign cookbooks and meet some very nice people ...
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A Grandmother and a Gentleman
Mike and Ga-Ga drove out to the ranch Saturday to spend the day with my mom, the kids, and me. Ga-Ga wanted to see my mom on her birthday, and Mike wanted to fold my laundry. Ga-Ga drove. Mike navigated.     Mike doesn’t drive. Mike rides. Mike rides in cars, taxis, ...
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Hooker: The Next Generation
She’s one of Hooker’s puppies.     Do you remember ? It wasn’t that long ago.     I love her.     And she loves me. I know it. I can just tell these things. I communicate with all animals on a very deep level. Call me ...
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We’ll Get Back to This Baby in a Minute
But first… Some scenes from last night.   It was Oklahoma City, my second home turf next to Tulsa. It was a wonderful, magical night.   When I signed these gals’ cookbooks, I wrote which article of clothing they were wearing that I loved. For example: ...
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Curlylocks
Curlylocks, Curlylocks Wilt thou be mine?     Thou shalt not wash dishes Nor yet feed the swine.     But sit on a cushion And sew a fine seam     And feed upon strawberries Sugar and cream.     You know something? From ...
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Twenty Four
  The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind, a blur, and I have no feeling in my right arm. Right now, I’m typing with my left hand. Just watch what happens when I type with my right hand: ogylsdoiufsjelrkjwerkjnsPAULISDEADjkhgsdopofisud See?   I’m a blogger. ...
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24
  The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind, a blur, and I have no feeling in my right arm. Right now, I’m typing with my left hand. Just watch what happens when I type with my right hand: sdjbugflkjbl;kjpooih;hlbghllssuPAULISDEADsdpoigvkjg;l;lkhhhklllk See?   I’m ...
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Late
We had to wean 200 calves yesterday morning. I got there late, because I wasn’t on time. I’ve decided I’m going to give obvious reasons for my faults today. “ I’m not doing laundry, because I don’t want to .” “ I didn’t exercise, ...
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My Crutch
It’s what I do when I’m nervous. I look at photos like this. It’s a crutch.   On another note, I have some things to say this morning. Please, for my sake, bear with me.   1. We’re weaning 200 calves this morning . That just leaves 2,700 calves left ...
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Not Our Typical Thursday Evening
This is Culver City, where The Bonnie Hunt Show is filmed. When we drove by the sign that read “Welcome to Culver City” I experienced a gastrointestinal meltdown. You don’t want to know any more than that. The show is filmed at Culver Studios, which used to be DesiLu ...
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My Old Stomping Ground
My two daughters and I left the chores of the ranch behind (crying copius tears of joy in the process) and flew west to my old stomping ground. I haven’t been here since last century. I haven’t been here for a very, very long time.   We flew in a plane that was one ...
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Me and Ice Cream: A Tragic Love Story
These are the facts of the case and they are undisputed: 1. These are not my lips. 2. Monday night, I served my family some scoops of ice cream. Before I could serve myself some scoops of ice cream, I became distracted by the sight of Charlie, having a smackdown in our yard with Daisy the ...
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Herefords
There’s nothing like a Hereford.     Nothing in the world.     My Pesky Brother-in-Law Tim has a herd of Herefords (not to be confused with a herd of heifers, which, as I confess to you each and every time I write about Herefords, I always thought were ...
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Which One Does Not Belong?
  Despite the fact that I have this website all about my life, I don’t so much like calling attention to articles, stories, or features in which I am occasionally mentioned. I don’t mind telling you about my cookbook —my cookbook is something tangible, something I worked ...
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Predestined
These are my godchildren. Well, the guy on the right is my official godson. I was present at his baptism in the Episcopal church about thirteen years ago. I’ll never forget that day. I wore one of those straight black knit dresses that wasn’t so black, it turned out, in the ...
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For Male Readers Under the Age of Seven
  When I went to the big city to get my hair cut and colored a Lucille Ball shade of red yesterday, Marlboro Man and the boys stayed home and cleaned up the yard. After a run of big rains and storms over the past couple of weeks, our homestead had become a mine field of stray sticks and ...
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Harses
Though I haven’t yet gotten around to removing the photo of the Sesame Noodles from the main page of ThePioneerWoman.com (a dear pregnant reader emailed to say it triggered her morning sickness at all hours of the day), I am excited to announce that I have heard the cries of desperation ...
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Enormous
Okay. So he wasn’t exactly… enormous .     But it is, in fact, a snake. And as such, its evil knows no bounds. I want to believe it’s a rattler; it would make it easier to despise it. But I think it could be a bull snake, which looks a lot like a rattlesnake ...
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